


Borrow My Heart

by AlternateEgo91



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Bad Dreams, Comfort, F/M, Humor, Love, PTSD, Romance, Sleeplessness, post siege
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 19:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2823575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlternateEgo91/pseuds/AlternateEgo91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story I started writing a long while ago before season three started up again. It's a story that takes place a week after the siege. It's Oliver and Felicity dealing with things after their return from the island. They both are dealing with some PTSD, manifesting as insomnia. They will have to help each other finally get some rest. Comfort, love and snuggles ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Borrow My Heart

It had been one week since the bloody and brutal showdown with Death Stroke. One week since Team Arrow had locked Slade in purgatory with nothing but the company of his own twisted insanity. Everyone in Starling was trying to find normal again.Far and wide, the resilient citizens of Starling were collectively patching up their wounds and learning to walk again. The city was in full rebuild and Oliver immediately went back to work helping, protecting and providing hope to all those who needed it.

After an evening of striking fear into the hearts and arrows into the limbs of the looters that had decided to try to take advantage of the city’s ruins, Oliver had returned to the foundry at 2:30am, sweaty and dirty but unharmed. He was ready for a shower hotter than the surface of the sun. He was beyond exhausted, pushing his still broken and battered body with little to no sleep. His flashbacks during the waking hours of the day of all the events leading up to the siege were enough to drive him to work nonstop but the horrible memories only intensified the minute he closed his eyes. Post steaming shower, he stared at his cot in the foundry and shuttered silently at the prospect of the all the vivid nightmares that were sure to plague him. He turned away from the sad and lonely makeshift bed and started up the metal stairs. There was one thing he had left to do before he could even attempt to turn in for the night anyway.

Every night since the heroes return from the island, he swung by Felicity’s apartment and peaked in to ensure that she was still safe and breathing. Memories of having her vulnerable neck so close to Slade’s blade, all because he had asked her to, replayed on loop in his brain and caused him to go cold with guilt and anger. Rationally, Oliver knew the threat was over, but his airway remained constricted unless he physically saw her unharmed.

Riding his motorcycle to her familiar condo he made is way around the back to her bedroom window. The curtain there was sheer and light, which usually allowed him to be able to see her lying in her bed tablet in hand. This time he was greeted with no movement and an empty room. He waited a few minutes, trying other windows but he could see no signs of life through the dim lighting coming from a few scattered lamps throughout her place.

After his patience had reached his limit, a mere 3 minutes, his mind and body went into full Arrow mode. His breathing became shallow, not able to catch his breath or stop the frightening thoughts of Felicity being in harms way. Racked with nerves, he jimmied open her bedroom window and silently leapt inside. He hurried through her home scanning each room ready to tear someone apart, fingers fidgeting anxiously at his sides, wishing desperately he had his bow.

She was gone. Sweat started to bead on his forehead, "Felicity!" He chanced a called through the small condo. He looked around him, nothing out of place, no signs of a struggle. He whipped out his phone and hit 1 on his speed dial. After the second ring he heard a buzzing coming from her bedroom. Jogging back into the small lilac room he saw her phone flashing and seizing from her nightstand. Something wasn’t right. Anxiety rose up to the back of his throat in the form of bile.

He had to pause momentarily to remind himself that the threat to Felicity was over. Slade was incapacitated a million miles away from here. No one else knew she worked with the Arrow, there had to be a reasonable explanation for her absence…at 3am… His hands tightened to fists as he forced himself to breath. _1...2..3..._

He jumped out the window in which he came and rushed to his bike. Donning his helmet, he hopped on and gunned it forward out towards the street. He made a left from her building, towards the corner of her block where a Dunkin’ Donuts stood. The shop’s front walls were made completely of glass so the bright florescent lights illuminated half the block. The intense glow caught his eye for a moment, noticing a person is peripheral vision. Quickly he did a double take into the large glass window, noticing a lone mass of blonde hair.

‘ _Is that…’_

He leaned his body right and the motorcycle followed suit, racing into the parking lot. He threw is bike unceremoniously in park in front of the building, not bothering to even notice if he was in a proper parking spot. Ripping off his helmet, through the thick clear glass he could officially confirm the blonde mass was his own super genius safe and sound.

By just the sight of her he could feel his blood pressure decline and is heart rate slow. His shoulders relaxed as he took a minute to drink her in. She was slumped over her computer against the back wall with ear buds in place, head held in her right hand with a coffee in her left. She looked as if she was forcing her eyes to stay open by sheer will power alone. She was wearing a loose light blue cotton sweater with black MIT sweatpants. What could have possibly brought her to a coffee shop, clearly ready for bed at 3 in the morning? He climbed off his bike and entered the shop, immediately assaulted by the warm scent of coffee and sugar. He approached her slowly, just enjoying the mere sight of her. He stood over her for a microsecond before her head popped up from her screen and hurriedly ripped out her headphones. 

“Oliver! Oh God! What are you doing here?” She said breathlessly, both hands over her heart, closing her eyes in an effort to gather herself.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He responded calmly, a feeling she seemed to constantly provide him.

She looked up at him and then down at her coffee cup. Lifting it up for him to see, “Coffee. Can’t get enough.”

“It 3 am.”

“I’m an addict.”

“You’re in your pajamas.”

She blushed and set the coffee down. She sighed deeply, knowing there was really no way out of telling him the truth. She was attempting to spare him from worrying about her, but even after two years of a secret double life, Felicity still remained a shit liar. “I can’t sleep.”

He frowned at her while giving her a once over, noticing her glazed over reddened eyes and the deep purples bags beneath them. He sat in the cold metal seat across from her little table.  

“Ever since we got back I can’t stay asleep, I keep having dreams about…” she shuttered not being able to complete the sentence. She knew he would blame himself for her problems, like her hero always did. Always taking on more than any one man should.  Quickly she turned the tables on him, “Wait, what are you doing here? I’m not even a block away from my place. “

“I was… checking in on you.” His eyes shifted from her face, suddenly intrigued in her XL coffee cup.

“Excuse me.” She leaned back feigning offense, though she looked slightly amused.  “Oliver Queen, do I need a restraining order?” she asked taking a sip of her coffee.

“I just check in on you.” He said timidly, unable to meet her eye. “To ensure your safety.” He finished quickly, forcing himself to look up at her face.

“Mhmm. Safety...” she trailed off, a smile hidden at the corner of her lips.

“It’s part of my job description.” His voice raised a bit, trying to defend himself, just a bit too adamantly.

She smiled fully, having successfully causing Oliver to squirm in his chair. She leaned forward, placing her elbows on the small table, to take in his appearance. He was hunched in his chair, looking pale and as if he was struggling against an invisible weight in order to keep upright.

“You look like shit.”

“Tell me how you really feel.” He shot back rubbing his face in his hands, trying to erase the exhaustion from it.  
“I'm serious. You come here to check on me, but how are you?”  
“I'm...” He paused. The word ‘fine’ was about to spill from his lips like a reflex, but this was Felicity. He trusted her. And after the stunt that they pulled a week ago, the amount of trust and bravery she displayed to him, he didn't think he could ever lie to her again.

 "I'm surviving."

Her eyes bore into him demanding the whole truth. "I haven't been able to sleep either. I tried when we got back from the island but after a night of nonstop tossing and turning I figured I’d spend my time at least being useful. I haven't been able to get more than an hour of sleep at a time."   
Felicity reached across the table to place a comforting hand on his. “It looks like we need to figure out how to get each other into bed.” Her eyes widened, realizing just how suggestive she sounded. "Oh god" her hand snapped back from his, "No. What I meant is we're both exhausted. We're going to have to find a way to get some rest." He smiled at her, a rare genuine smile so gorgeous it caused Felicity’s stomach to back flip. She pushed up her glasses, cheeks burning. Oliver wondered if she had any idea how much her verbal struggles made Oliver's day brighten.

“Well not that I'm any expert but I do have a few suggestions. If you have any chance at any sleep tonight, less caffeine.” He said grabbing her coffee cup, taking it away from her. “And you'll definitely need a bed. Let's get you home.” He pushed back his chair and stood up. Felicity nodded and closed her laptop. While she packed up her things, Oliver threw away her half full coffee cup. As they walked out the door she muttered, “You owe me a cup of coffee Queen.” He smiled as he held the door for her.

Though an incredibly short trip, the both hopped onto his bike to arrive back in Felicity’s condo in 30 seconds flat. As the engine died down, Felicity took off his helmet that he insisted she wear for the infinitesimal ride home. She clambered off the bike and turned to look at Oliver, offering his helmet back.

“Oliver,” she started, her voice shaky, unsure of herself. “Why don’t you stay here?”

He looked into her eyes. “Purely for platonic and logical reasons. I can’t sleep and I’m sure that you here would make me feel 100 times safer and help me fall asleep. And clearly you’re still worried and checking up on me. By you staying here, you know I’m okay and it’ll help you get some well needed rest as well.”

His blue eyes drilled into hers. Could they do this? They already were doing the Macarena on their extremely thinning line of friendship vs more. Would a sleepover push things over the edge?

In the end though, it didn’t matter because Felicity was right. Being near her put his entire body at ease. They needed each other and tonight they would just being doing one another a favor.

“Okay.” He said softly grabbing the helmet.

“Okay.” She responded looking up at him with a small shy smile. His eyes smiled back.

 

Felicity led her vigilant into her small but inviting home. Walking in with Oliver at her heels, she considered her small love seat. She spun around and admitted, “I didn’t really think this through. The man to couch ration is a bit off.”

“It’s fine, I’ll just sleep on the floor.” He suggested.

“I will have none of that. You can just share my bed.” She replied matter of factly.

He looked at her full of confusion.

“We are both consenting adults. We can share a bed for a night in the name of our REM cycles. Come on.”  Without consulting him any further she walked towards her room.

“Hmm, I don’t remember leaving the window open.” She wondered to herself aloud.

“You really should be more careful.” He said through gritted teeth, trying his best not to give himself away.

“Someone’s being a bit over protective. Not like someone is going to break in.”

Oliver stifled a laugh while simultaneously planning on putting a more efficient lock on her window for the future.

Putting her bag down on her desk he asked, “Which side do you want?”

“I tend to starfish this entire bed, so guest’s choice.”

“Starfish?” he asked quizzically.

“Yeah, you know, have each limb going in their own direction. Makes your body look like a starfish.” He was smirking at her, one eyebrow raised, clearly amused.

“Shut up and pick a side.”

Smiling brightly he moved of the right side of the bed closest to the window.

“Done. Do you need pjs?”

“You have mens pjs?” he asked, slightly accusatory.

“No but I’m sure you would look fantastic in one of my pajama sets.”

“I’ll stick to my jeans.”

“Fair enough.” She quipped, hands up in surrender.

Not knowing what to do next, she slipped under the covers on the left side of bed. Oliver followed suit. Turning to lay with her back to him, she shut off her bedside lamp. They left a giant space between the two of their bodies. A space so large, you could probably erect the next Berlin wall. What was she thinking asking him, nay, basically forcing him to share her bed with her. She would surely be punished for her sexual harassment sometime in the near future.

After a few minutes of some very tense silence, Oliver spoke up.

“Felicity, what are you dreams about?”

She turned over to look at him. He had his hands behind his head staring up at the white ceiling.

When she didn’t answer immediately, he turned his head to look at her. He saw fear in her watery eyes.

He turned his body towards her and reached out to place a hand on her hip.

“I’m here Felicity. You’re safe.”

She swallowed the dry massive lump in her throat and began to explain. “Honestly, it depends. The night of the siege, I just feel like I’m reliving it.”

Without thinking his hand flew up and gently traced the hollow of her neck, where Slade’s blade could have in one quick motion extinguished Oliver’s precious sun. Her small hand came up to wrap around his. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What?” he asked taken aback.   

“I relive your fight with him. I dream that he wins. I have seen you die in my arms so many times”

One tear forced its way out from her left eye. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before Oliver soft lips were kissing it away.

“I’m here.” He repeated reaching out to pull her whole body into his.

“We’re both okay.” He softly placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, breathing in her lilac scented shampoo. 

“Close your eyes, I’ve got you.”

Her right hand came up to lay on his chest where underneath the thin fabric of his shirt she could feel the puckered skin underneath his left clavicle. Thinking back she realized that was the scar left there by his mother. She ran her fingers back and forth against the rough skin. The scar that started it all. This was the scar that brought him to her. He might have unmasked himself as Oliver that day, but she has slowly been unmasking a piece of him every day since then.

“Felicity” Oliver started.

Felicity fingers stopped their ministration suddenly, looking up at him, noting his eyes we’re heavily lidded. “Oh, I’m sorry, am I keeping you up?”

He smiled lazily and let out a small breathy laugh. “I think that feeling is the only thing putting me to sleep.” She smiled and started to run her fingers against the hardened skin once more.

“Felicity, with everything that has happened, all of the things I’ve done and seen, I don’t feel like I have much of a heart any longer… but right now. With you, it’s definitely pounding like its still there.” He said distantly, half asleep.

She stopped, momentary stunned by his words.

“Oliver, you have more heart then anyone I have ever met. You have a heart big enough to carry this entire city and everyone in it. Including me.” She stopped talking for a few moments. After a long moment she looked up to see his cool blue eyes wide open.

“I want you to know, that if ever you feel like there’s not enough in there,” she whispered finally, tapping over the scar, “you can borrow mine.”

"Felicity" he said slowly drawing her name out like he was creating it. Claiming it as his own. The sound slipped out of his mouth, wrapped around her heart and squeezed.  "Sleep" she responded, running her hand along the side of his face through his scruff. His eyes fluttered closed as he pulled her small form impossibly closer to him. Soon her own eyes felt too heavy to keep open. She kept her hand over the heart that had won hers and finally drifted off into a dreamless slumber.


End file.
